Post # 624 : The tale of my hoo-haa.

My husband is a good man. Almost a saint. And I am a woman. But I am a woman.

Since i have become a mom, he has lost all eyes for me as a woman. My baby and my husband think that i am holy. For the reason, one refuses to let go of the … ahem … milk-source; the other refuses to be any place near it.

My gyno raped my hoo-haa – she called it an episiotomy. Well, for all i know, the woman goddamn mummified it. And now i have something that if i show, would only be agreed to be shown to, by Frankenstein. Only he would have a field day with it. Only he could have a field day with it.

Female anatomy has three holes. An episiotomy helps you in having a simple anatomy – you get to have two holes – and no hoo-ha. No distinguishable hoo-ha.Lottarraaaaayyy for anyone’s, any kinky dream. Not mine.

My normal, vaginal delivery turned out to be worse than a c-section. It took me 3 – hole whole months , straight of recovery. It was like having something between my legs the hole whole time. Extremely painful. No fun.

God bless my saint-of-a-husband who took his-haggard-of-a-wife and flew her to her mum’s. And even now that i am all well. He still wants me to get better. The guy’s awesome. I refuse to refuse to go back. I say, enough of the sainthood.

As i write this, i am packing to go back to my husband. To my place. To my home. To my tail. To my tale.

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2 responses to “Post # 624 : The tale of my hoo-haa.

  1. Good luck! although I’m wondering why your husband shipped you away to heal, why didn’t he offer to take care of you?

  2. Mystery Momma, thanks for wishing me luck :).

    My episiotomy was really bad – and by that i mean horrendously horrible. This meant that even going to the loo was ‘work’! I had to take care of a newborn and that wouldn’t have been possible without 24/7 help. With all this going on, my husband couldn’t possibly take care of me :). I would do a more detailed post on my postpartum recovery sometime later.

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